15 years...

*ALERT...I try to keep my blog posts light and about my crafts, rather than my life. Today's post is a bit different. I do have a life and today I am talking about. Feel free to skip over my words if you'd like to just see what I've made. I won't be offended, I promise!!!!

Scrapbooking is a life journey. It's a way to tell your story, document your life, your children's lives. It's a process of looking into your family heritage and writing it all down, so that future generations know about their past. At least, this is why I scrapbook. I want my future grandchildren to know what their father's were like as children, what we did as a family and how much we love them.

Today, September 30, 2011 marks 15 years since my father passed away unexpectedly at 49 years of age. It was 4 days after my 22nd birthday, which also happens to be the last time I talked to him. I think about the things he missed. My Dad never got to see my sister & I as adults. He didn't see me find a career that I loved or become the teacher he always urged me to be. He didn't get to met my husband or walk me down the aisle at my wedding. He never met my children. There have been so many times in the past 15 years that I have wondered what my Dad would have thought about how I turned out. I think he'd be proud of me, of us.

Over the past month, knowing this date was upon me, I started thinking about my Dad's story. I thought, "If I don't write his story, who will?" I want my children and future generations to know my father. I decided, it's time to write his story! Up to this point, I haven't scrapped a single layout about my father. It seemed too painful. It's easier to keep all of those feelings shoved down real deep where they don't hurt so bad. Hopefully the journey will be therapeutic. Maybe I'll even come to terms with my unresolved feelings about his passing.

I started this layout about a month ago. It lay unfinished in my closet for about 3 weeks. I honestly didn't know if I would be able to finish it. Until I thought "I HAVE to do this!" This IS important!! My children and my husband deserve this, my Dad deserves this!! And out it came...

I chose a photo of my father from when he was a little boy. I figured it would be easier to scrap & tell these stories first, before I can delve into him as my father and the person I knew.

This is not going to be an easy journey, but I'm ready.

Thank you for sharing in my first step!

xo! Maureen

13 comments:

Lois said...

We are very proud of you for starting this very hard journey. Love Lois and Ken

Autumn Mist said...

I think you're very brave and you've made the right decision. I'm sure you'll shed many tears along the way, but you'll also evoke fond memories and smile a great deal too. It will be something for you and your children to treasure. You go, girl!

Savannah O'Gwynn said...

OH! I am so sorry that you lost your dad at such an early age. You are super brave to share these memories and pages! HUGS!

Sarah-Jane Kalé said...

Maureen!! Such a beautiful post and a gorgeous scrap page. I absolutely ADORE your blog and must be much more diligent in posting comments. Your blog, your style and your creations always make me smile.

xx Sarah

Claudia said...

He would be so proud of this Maureen and so proud of you. I am in awe of you.
Words just don't seem big enough to express all I am feeling at this moment.
I love you.
Mom

Jennifer said...

Baby steps.....right? This was HUGE. I am so proud of you for going through with the first page and may many more follow. Unlock and heal your inner soul to find some peace and acceptance. Sharing this makes me scared to open my mom's box but I know it will be worth it. I applaud you for beginning because to me that is the hardest part. Memories are tucked away but photos/layouts are proof and solid captured events. I want nothing more than strength to be behind every single page you make for you and dad.
Big Hugs. I miss you and think about you almost every day girly : )
Thank you for sharing and inspiring me again in such a deep heartfelt way. I really looove the tender touches with the butterflies on the page.
Jenn

Pryn said...

Wow! You are even more amazing now than I thought you were before reading this. You are my inspiration, a hero...if you can do this, then so can I. You are not just preserving the story of your father and the memories that you have of him...you are not just capturing his life for your children and Doug to know about....you are healing...building strength and mending your broken heart...a little bit at a time. I am so proud of your taking these steps and I know your father is smiling down on you and admiring the beautiful woman you have become...inside and out. This layout is gorgeous and everything about it is perfect....especially the love you put into it. I love and adore you, Mo. Thank you for sharing your story and your courage. Love you Sistah!

Rona said...

This is beautiful Mo - the idea, the thoughts, the layout and even the pain (I do believe the pain can be beautiful - it makes us who we are healthy, compassionate, loving people) YOU are an amazing person and a wonderful mother because of all the experiences of your life - good and sad... Thanks for sharing and inspiring others through your journey!!

Karen Buck said...

I lost my mom 15 years ago on September 25, so I totally understand. Scrapping those we love who have passed is good for the soul. We are so blessed to have this outlet, aren't we? Your daughter will be so grateful.

Andrea L - EnchantINK said...

Thank you for being brave enough to share this with us, Maureen. I imagine this will be a wonderful but emotional journey for you ... but am so glad you have begun. Having lost my dad only this year (June 2nd) your post hit a chord with me. My journey is also painful ... with some family skeletons that no one would wish for. Yet ... I still loved him ... and I miss him more than I imagined I would. Thanks for sharing this personal moment! The scrap page is wonderful. I love it! Hugs xx

Diana Queen said...

Good for you, Mo.... it is a wonderful undertaking you have started for your children. It is something I should do as well, but I know what you mean about it being too painful. Hang in there super girl! Wuv ya!

Julie's Blog said...

What a beautiful story ... This is such a wonderful way to honour your Dad's memory and his story and this layout is just gorgeous. Thanks for sharing. Julie

Frannie said...

I didn't know you were doing this. I'm crying like an idiot! I love that pic of dad and Grampa; it's one of my favorites. It is a beautiful tribute and I look forward to seeing what else you make. Having grown up without knowing mom's parents, can you imagine how much this will mean to Conner and Ethan?! I love it and love you! xo

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